You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
