His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
foreskin is a definite game changer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
