last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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