Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.

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(850): Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/1ay2

Replies (44) Good night (3632) Bad night (944)
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(425): View more from Washington

It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.

(425): View more from Washington

Not including when spray tanning

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(425): It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom. (425): Not including when spray tanning http://tfl.nu/n9vy

Replies (17) Good night (1067) Bad night (4243)
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(916): View more from California

Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?

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(916): Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents? http://tfl.nu/8kv6

Replies (20) Good night (2616) Bad night (1444)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this

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(605): Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this http://tfl.nu/ch0i

Replies (19) Good night (1215) Bad night (2925)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.

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(306): I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards. http://tfl.nu/0ymc

Replies (10) Good night (2124) Bad night (1318)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.

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(913): Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/5vu2

Replies (5) Good night (1724) Bad night (940)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.

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(732): I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/4od2

Replies (5) Good night (855) Bad night (1749)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.

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(606): after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls. http://tfl.nu/ni37

Replies (17) Good night (5754) Bad night (1013)
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(562): View more from California

I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.

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(562): I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness. http://tfl.nu/jxto

Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (1763)
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(925): View more from California

We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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(925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30

Replies (7) Good night (1797) Bad night (561)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

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(740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n

Replies (11) Good night (1685) Bad night (1087)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.

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(778): She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/9heo

Replies (12) Good night (1954) Bad night (648)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it

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(701): He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it http://tfl.nu/1dio

Replies (5) Good night (458) Bad night (987)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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(269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu

Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (736)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.

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(614): Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/4bsk

Replies (5) Good night (494) Bad night (872)

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