Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on