Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies

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(760): View more from California

O no, u 2 are dating again?

(503): View more from Oregon

No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture

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(713): View more from Texas

Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

(404): View more from Georgia

You mean bread?

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(862): View more from New Jersey

dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.

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