i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks