God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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