Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people

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  (732): I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people http://tfl.nu/4v2j
  Replies (23) Good night (6619) Bad night (516)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

  (407): View more from Florida

  given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

  (352): View more from Florida

  i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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  (352): the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight. (407): given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was (352): i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it http://tfl.nu/tb83
  Replies (41) Good night (3352) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea

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  (978): I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea http://tfl.nu/kyal
  Replies (28) Good night (3612) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.

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  (843): Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17. http://tfl.nu/5ely
  Replies (80) Good night (14341) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Hookers taste better with whip cream

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fair enough

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  (417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz
  Replies (45) Good night (4016) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.

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  (919): Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room. http://tfl.nu/3ukp
  Replies (28) Good night (9770) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You're like the curious george of whores

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  (512): You're like the curious george of whores http://tfl.nu/l01l
  Replies (5) Good night (3545) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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  (815): Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it http://tfl.nu/8nv8
  Replies (16) Good night (2346) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

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  (413): How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA? http://tfl.nu/rcz7
  Replies (16) Good night (923) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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  (+61): I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world http://tfl.nu/cuud
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.

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  (540): He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog. http://tfl.nu/zanv
  Replies (0) Good night (295) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.

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  (480): Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor. http://tfl.nu/8do3
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.

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  (202): Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone. http://tfl.nu/t31y
  Replies (25) Good night (325) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.

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  (716): He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do. http://tfl.nu/0qz8
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (403)

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