the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
