I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
