Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
