just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The Olympian is in my bed
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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