So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
