Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize