also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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