We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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