i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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