I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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