I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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