so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
