Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
