remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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