yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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