I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
