Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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