That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
