alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
