She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
