I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
