this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
