Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
