so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
