dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
