By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
