I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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