I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
