Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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