so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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