You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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