does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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