the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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