you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and she was petting her beer can
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize