i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
