How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
