And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
