can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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