forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
