so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
