We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
