Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
