dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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