let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
