just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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