ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think my moral compass just broke
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