Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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