Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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