yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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