I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
