look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
