suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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