..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So vagazzling was a success
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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