She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
