I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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