I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
